I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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