I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
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Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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