I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
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one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
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we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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