I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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