Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize