Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
