basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
