Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
