Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
