Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
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He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
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I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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