I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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