i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
