I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
