u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
