finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
