Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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