I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize