Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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