And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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