You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
