I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
