dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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