Where is the hickey?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Green mimosas i think yes
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
