I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
