"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Duck Duck Cougar?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You've changed since you got that strap on
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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