you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
