When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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