this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
