did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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