fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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