The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
