"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
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I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
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I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
where are my eyebrows?
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