Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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