i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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