we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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