im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
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