Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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