I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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