maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
