Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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