Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
