Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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