I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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