He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
