I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
