After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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