I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
