I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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