Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
