checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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