i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
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He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
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When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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