We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
