I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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