you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
