so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
